Balancing a Pear

I'm a pear.

No, not this kind of pear...

I'm talking about this kind of pear...



Smallish top...not so smallish bottom.

While I mostly accept my natural shape as a fact of life, there have been moments when I wished that I was a bit less pear and a bit more hourglass. Now, in my youth, that wish had nothing at all to do with my shoulders/arms. Having toothpick slender arms was a good thing. That sentiment changed a bit earlier this year when I was trying to find a dress to wear to my sister's wedding. I've already confessed somewhere in this blog that I really, strongly dislike shopping. Trying on clothes is torturous. I think that part of the reason I have such trouble with clothes shopping has to do with my pear status. If an article fits me perfectly on top, it won't look right on the bottom... and vice-versa. Sleeveless items are the absolute worst. I love the way that they look on other people. I love the way that they look on hangers. On ME??? Not so much. Still, for some reason I was bound and determined to find a perfect, sleeveless dress for the wedding. I did find one that I really liked, but not before sorting through some major regrets over not paying much attention to upper body work outs during that six months that I actually belonged to a gym...more than a year ago. You know, cause if I had, then maybe I'd have decent shoulders now. Or not. Whatever.

Gym time aside, when you consider that I spent years upon years carrying one child or another, it should follow that I have decent strength in my arms. Nope. My puny arms are as weak as they look. I think that's because my arms didn't really carry the children all that much. My hips did. My arms were merely security straps.

So now I'm wondering. If I actually put forth effort into working out my shoulders, will it make a difference? I have no desire to become "buff" or as my young fitness guru cousin puts it - "swole." I'd just like to balance my shape out a bit.

My official goal is to lose 10 pounds while gaining shoulders that look decent in sleeveless tops. I can do this! I even have a plan. After 2-4 weeks of home cardio/weights and yoga (to build up my endurance), I will join the kickboxing class that I currently bring my daughters to three times a week. I could just jump right into the class now, but I know myself and after a couple of FAIL sessions, I'll want to give up completely. Giving up is not an option! This will happen. And when it does, I might even post a pic of the cute sleeveless top that I'll get to reward myself. Maybe I'll even post a pic of me wearing said cute sleeveless top. Or maybe not. One step at a time.

Teaser Tuesday - May 17th

Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read
Open to a random page
Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS!
Share the title and author

The last time I participated in this I was re-reading Jane Eyre. I don't know how many times I've read that novel over the years. Sometimes having a faulty memory is awesome. I get to enjoy great works over and over again!!! This week is another favorite that I find myself turning to over and over again: To Killing a Mocking Bird by Harper Lee.

Here are my teaser lines:

"It's not necessary to tell all you know. It's not ladylike - in the second place, folks don't like to have somebody around knowin' more than they do."

AKKK Muppets!!!

Roger from A Screed in Time wants to know which Muppet is my favorite. The very question may give me nightmares, but that isn't Roger's fault. He couldn't have possibly known that Muppets creep me out.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm all alone in my phobia. I once confessed to my fellow blogging friend, Que, from Dad by Trade that I wasn't particularly fond of Muppets. He didn't take it very well. For a short time I worried about the status of our friendship. Luckily for me, he decided to overlook my oddity.

Skipping this particular Fun Monday would have been taking the easy way out. I like easy. The problem is that I skipped last Monday. I also procrastinated too long with my Friday Tea Time Tales. That's too much skipping. It's time to knuckle down and face my fear! It might help if I recite the Litany Against Fear first. Bear with me please.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain

Okay. I'm ready. (BTW, you get major points if you already knew the Litany Against Fear.)

Who is my favorite Muppet? My very first thought was to pick Angel puppet...

...but I don't think he is a bona fide Muppet. If some of you are thinking "she gets freaked out by Muppets, but a vampire puppet is okay?!?" that's okay. The truth is that Smile Time is, by far, my least favorite Angel episode ever. Even so, I'll take my least favorite episode of Angel over The Muppet Show anytime!

To be fair, I don't think that all Muppets are spooky. I kinda like the Swedish Chef dude. And Count Von Count is fabulous. Kermit is way cool because he is green. Plus he sings one of my favorite songs (I prefer Kenny Loggins singing this song, but I think that Kermit sang it first.)



But of all the Muppets out there, I will have to go with the one that I liked best as a child. Super Grover!!!

He is, after all, a super hero.

Fun Monday - Let's Get Personal

Remember when I said that I'd share a more personal post soon? Well, Roger from A Screed in Time left me without an excuse to continue procrastinating. Our task this week is to write about our summer plans. Hey, that's what I wanted to write about anyway!

Winning!

No, no, no...not the kind of winning that gets doused in tiger blood and infused with Adonis DNA. I mean the killing two birds with one stone kind of winning. Not that I actually want to kill two birds at all. Unless, of course, I was residing in a post-apocalyptic cave and my family was hungry (cause the rationing might be kinda harsh) and a couple of birds wandered in...and there happened to be a stone in my hand. Note that I didn't say that I WOULD kill them, only that I'd want to. Luckily for the birds, I throw like a girl. A girl who can't throw. I have to make that distinction because I know that there are lots of girls who CAN throw. I just don't happen to be one.

Where was I? Oh yeah, summer. A quick glance at the calendar tells me that we only have 18 school days left. WHOOHOOO!!! I love giving my alarm clock a vacation. As for a vacation for the rest of us, I'm really glad that we were able to go to Disney over the Mardi Gras break because with gas prices the way they are now, I don't expect us to be taking any kind of trip this summer. We were hoping to have an above ground pool installed, but it looks like that is being put on hold again for yet another year. Right now the wonderful therapists at Physical Therapy are getting our pool money. That's okay. Having a hubby who can walk is worth it!

So...since we won't be taking any trips and we won't be getting a pool, what WILL I be doing this summer? Oh, I have plans. Big plans. My life is about to change and I have to make preparations for that change. I'm going to have do some serious organization to fit this change into our lives. I'm even going to have to dedicate a special spot in my house for this change.

No.

This has nothing to do with a baby carriage. It's okay if your mind went there.

When I first announced to my friends that I had big news about a life change, most of them assumed that I was pregnant again. To be honest, that reaction surprised me. After all, when it comes to my reproduction system, I think, at 43, that I'm closer to that OTHER change then I am to expecting another bundle of joy. I think that I'm even looking forward to it.

The preparations that I am going to be making this summer will actually be for the upcoming school year. The space that I'm going to be setting aside will be filled with school books and supplies. My big change is that, beginning next school year, I'm going to be homeschooling my son!

Let's hope that the summer is long enough for me to prepare!