Happy Father's Day

I was dicing an onion when my husband walked through the door and suggested that we go to Best Buy in Houma for the TV that we decided would be his Father’s Day present. Going to Houma meant eating out, so I abandoned the onion and did some quick calculations in my mind. Shopping + eating out + all four kids = increased possibility of a massive headache. Math just never works out well for me. Thankfully, gaming does. I told the oldest three that they could have ravioli for supper and then handed over the laptop, Wii and Dsi. Content that they wouldn’t move from the spots that I was leaving them in, I joined my husband and youngest child in the car. How much trouble could one little girl be? Don’t answer that. We were barely out of the driveway when she started.

Anna: I’m hungry. Did you hear me? I’m STARVING. Starving means that I’m really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really hungry.

Never mind that it was an hour away from her usual suppertime. Never mind that she’d been snacking since she came home from school. What the Queen demands, the Queen must receive. That’s probably why my husband decided that our first stop should be Walmart. You know, ‘cause that is the perfect place to bring a six year old who is dying of starvation. Amazingly we made it through Wallyworld without a single major meltdown. In fact, I think that she completely forgot about how hungry she was…until she was back in her carseat. This time her daddy took her seriously. He brought us to a local seafood restaurant.

Anna wanted macaroni and cheese.
They didn’t have it.

Anna wanted to look over the back of the booth at the people in the next booth.
I told her to sit still.

Anna wanted Dr Pepper with Sprite mixed in.
The waitress shot daggers out of her eyes at me.

What? W-what did I do??? Is it really that difficult to add a little bit of Sprite to the Dr Pepper, I silently wondered? As the waitress left to get our difficult drink order, my husband chuckled and asked if I’d heard her call him “baby.” Relief flooded me. She wasn’t showing disapproval of my parenting skills ~ she just thought that my hubby was hot. :::whew::: When she came back to take our order, I was careful to choose an item that wouldn’t easily hide a wad of spit. She left again and I drilled politely questioned my husband about the last time he’d patronized that particular restaurant. He laughed at me.

After that lovely dining experience, we finally made our way to Best Buy where we soon discovered that fueling Anna probably wasn’t the best idea after all. I’m not positive about the number of times that I had to say, “Don’t touch that” but I’m thinking that was probably close to five million. While I chased her around the store, D chased down an associate to answer his questions about the TV he wanted. Remember the good ol’ days when vultures salespersons descended on you the moment you walked through the door? Now you have to hunt for help. Luckily my husband is an experienced hunter. He tagged and bagged one in just under a half hour. Not just any salesperson either. He found one who knew his stuff! Anna and I caught up with them just as the guy was telling hubby all about how we were going to have to spend $300 to calibrate the $500 TV that we were planning to purchase. G-huh? Sensing my confusion, he turned to me and started to explain in terms that non-techy people should easily understand.

Smart salesperson: You know how when you buy a new van and one of the tires goes flat and you get a new tire, but then everything is kinda off balance…

I stopped him before he went any further because when I buy a new van, I expect it to come with new tires that work the way that they are supposed to work.

We did not buy a television that evening.